By: Hunter Hotalin (Based on evidence gathered from all Departments) Scandal, tax fraud, and massive pandemonium has taken over Boys State. Two nights ago during average conversation in my operation, I heard rumors about the Departments of Humanities, Natural Resources, and Economy. I originally blew these rumors off as general gossip, as they focused on outlandish statements such as free buffets, proposed gambling, and even, as I heard it, a “Communist Nightclub”. However, after thinking about it overnight, it began to intrigue me so I decided to start digging and see what I could find. I started my investigation at the Department of Natural Resources, a well spoken group of delegates who could speak in much more intelligent jargon that I can not even muster. In order to capture a full scope of events, I started with basic questions such as “What is going on with these rumors?” and “Where did these originate?” I immediately knew something was up when they started to consult each other before answering and talking in circles, things you do when trying to cover something up. All I could scrounge up from their statement was that Powell County had allegedly messed up a 2.7 million dollar grant. My visit to the Department of Humanities proved to be much more beneficial; as soon as I asked about Powell, the room erupted in laughter. The County of Powell requested finances and to pay for things in their community such as (but not limited to): professional football and basketball teams, a state university, and a space shuttle. However, on their grant to the departments they signed it as Seitz, effectively making a separate county pay for their outrageous claims. Powell then got frustrated with the Departments for rejecting their claim and are now planning to sue them and Seitz for, in a simpler word, screwing up their purchase orders. When I asked Seitz Rep. Gugelmeyer why Powell is getting mad at other departments for their mistakes he replied, “I don’t know… the county are [sic] acting like idiots.” So, in summarization, all rumors of corruption within the Departments are untrue, however a combination of unorganization and false paperwork has created something much larger. Now, we are left with government procedure in ruin with the Department of Humanities planning to counter-sue the county of Powell along with support from Seitz for making them pay for their claims. Even more, an unnamed representative from the Department of Economy has said that they plan to put “Seitz in their crosshairs because they are not able to pay [for Powell’s grant].” As a fellow stater, I would recommend you pay attention to this issue in the following days, as it could either evolve into something more or eventually die down]]>
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